Sucked vs didn't Suck

The American Music Awards (AMA) is on tonight. This is my take on who sucked and didn't suck.

Sucked
AMA Producer & the Sound Engineer
When will any music awards show get the sound right? If this thing was broadcast in Dolby surround you certainly didn't hear it. The music sounded as if it were coming out of a 1 foot wide flat speaker in the front - not even stereo in some cases. This is on my Yamaha/JBL surround sound system. I had to use the make believe surround Concert Hall setting to make it sound wider than 1 foot and three dimensional. Ugh, in 2005 this is the best they could do? If I were a performer, I would have wished I had never performed on this show.

Mariah Carey - A horrid performance of a horrible song. She blamed it on a lack of a monitor, nah, she was signing the song. It just sucks as a song. She needs to stop doing vocal gymnastics and relearn how to sing. Her style is so annoying these days. An x Octave range is not a weapon, it's an instrument for pleasure not pain. She's forgotten that.

Lindsey Lohan - I love her movies, but she doesn't belong on a music stage. She butchered Stevie Nick's "Edge of 17". She failed miserably at using the backup singers to mask her flat and unappealing voice. When she realized that, she started doing the rock star poser routine.

Kenny Chesney - Two things I can't stand -- Male twang and the 'yo yo yo bitch' rap. Guess which category he's in.

Paris Hilton - Why is she even there? I've seen better leaches for publicity.

Ferrell & Gwen Stefani - Like I said two things I can't stand. This was poser rap, no music, no talent. Gwen -- what a waste of theee minutes for her. She should have picked Andre 3000 instead to rap with - at least he has real music behind him and something more than the usual yo yo yo cliche rap.

Hillary Duff - Weak material. But at least she can hit the notes. She needs to lose the silly background dancers. Ouch she's hitting bad notes, I think she's moving toward the suck category... Yup, no warmth in her thin now grating voice. She's in the suck category.

Ciara, Bow Wow and Mario - She had a thin song with a thin grating voice. I don't hear what all the fuss is about. She's another Maria wannabee - yuck. BowWow/Mario - 'snap' 'snap' heard it.

Tim McGraw - I'm sorry but this boy cannot sing. If you remove his nasal twang you'd hear a weak whiny voice. Must be the wife effect.

Eurythmics - Thanks to the sound engineer. Annie couldn't recover from a bad monitor until the end.

Macy Gray - "Dee Dee Dee"

Rascal Flats - Who? Chipmunk lead vocalist. At least they can harmonize, but in a twang! Yuk. "Brother and sister kinda thing" - Yup makes you think of Michael Jackson. Eeew!

Didn't Suck
AMA Video Director - The film effect on some of the performances was a great touch. For some of the performances it almost seemed as if you were watching a DVD. I say almost a DVD because of the sucky lack of surround or even something more than flat sound.

Rob Thomas - Going solo. Still sounds great. Nice understated arrangement and performance. He didn't pose, he just got the job done.

Keith Urban - At last a country singer who doesn't rely on a twang. I've never heard him before since most male country singers can't sing without a cowboy hat a twang or both - both of which do nothing for making the music pleasant. Which is why I avoid male country singers. I like the sound of some of the females, just not the twangy males.

Cyndy Lauper & Sarah McLachlan - Sarah was great as always. Cyndy was a little shaky on some solos. Together their vocals harmonize beautifully. The only down side was that the pedal/steel guitar was too loud, drowning out Sarah in parts.

Will Smith's Acceptance Speech - I love his rap. He's got great music. He's a real talent and his songs are just plain fun.

TMobile Caffeinated Cheerleader commercial - I was once like that - in the ice age.... Giddy, couldn't shut up. It's so amusing to watch.

Santana & Los Lonely Boys - These boys can sing. Harmonies - something you don't hear much of anymore except in Rock. Cool guitar solos by the lead guiatarist/vocalist of Los Lonely Boys. Santana - he's one of those legendary guitar players that just becomes more phenomenal as he gets older. He could walk on water with his playing. How they made their guitars sing such a sweet melody. This was the best performance of the night.

Sheryl Crow - She always delivers, too bad the ABC/AMA Sound Engineer didn't.

All American Rejects - They didn't suck, but they weren't anything special either.

Brooks & Dunn acceptance speech - A heartfelt thanks to all music fans, not just their own.

Rolling Stones - These guys have been performing a little longer than I have been alive. Tina Turner is coming out of 'retirement' to do another tour. I hope I'm kicking and moving like they are when I reach that point in my life.

Tina Turner - I know she wasn't on. But if you can get a chance to go see her, do! I wish they made more like her. She can do it all and sounds like heaven live.

TAGS: award shows