Here's an interesting idea that finally occurred to me. This blog will serve as insight into who I am/was for my children. I know that there are many many blogs out there and many of the bloggers are parents. As the mom of two under 6 year old kids, I can see that already many of my attitudes and ideas have changed in the almost 6 short years they have been with me. I know that in the teenage years and especially in the adult years and when I am gone, this blog may well be the best indicator of who I was at this time. So although I may have an audience of 1 or 2 at least I can hope (assuming I'm not archived off) that my kids will be able to read my blogs and discover who I was.
I'm lucky in a sense that my memories of my dad are still with me, but how can I share what he was like with my kids (a lot of fun). My son does not remember grandpa, and my daughter never met him on this earth (although a toy in her room was 'talking' to her last night - must be one of the grandpas).
If my dad had a blog when he was still 'mostly here' he might have still been alive today - at least he would have taken better care of himself. It would also have been neat to peer into pop's mind at various points in his life. I wonder how he handled becoming a father. I know I ended up disappointing him later in his life, but at least my sister was there for him. I can only imagine that when we were little I was his favorite, but later in life it was my sister who took care of him. I am glad he left what he could to her. She is also the person I am trusting with the most important details of my life (although she doesn't know it yet!).
Anyway back to 'blogs as heirlooms'. Here's to hoping this little corner of the internet will be passed on to my kids.
.:end:.
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Sucked vs didn't Suck
The American Music Awards (AMA) is on tonight. This is my take on who sucked and didn't suck.
Sucked
AMA Producer & the Sound Engineer
When will any music awards show get the sound right? If this thing was broadcast in Dolby surround you certainly didn't hear it. The music sounded as if it were coming out of a 1 foot wide flat speaker in the front - not even stereo in some cases. This is on my Yamaha/JBL surround sound system. I had to use the make believe surround Concert Hall setting to make it sound wider than 1 foot and three dimensional. Ugh, in 2005 this is the best they could do? If I were a performer, I would have wished I had never performed on this show.
Mariah Carey - A horrid performance of a horrible song. She blamed it on a lack of a monitor, nah, she was signing the song. It just sucks as a song. She needs to stop doing vocal gymnastics and relearn how to sing. Her style is so annoying these days. An x Octave range is not a weapon, it's an instrument for pleasure not pain. She's forgotten that.
Lindsey Lohan - I love her movies, but she doesn't belong on a music stage. She butchered Stevie Nick's "Edge of 17". She failed miserably at using the backup singers to mask her flat and unappealing voice. When she realized that, she started doing the rock star poser routine.
Kenny Chesney - Two things I can't stand -- Male twang and the 'yo yo yo bitch' rap. Guess which category he's in.
Paris Hilton - Why is she even there? I've seen better leaches for publicity.
Ferrell & Gwen Stefani - Like I said two things I can't stand. This was poser rap, no music, no talent. Gwen -- what a waste of theee minutes for her. She should have picked Andre 3000 instead to rap with - at least he has real music behind him and something more than the usual yo yo yo cliche rap.
Hillary Duff - Weak material. But at least she can hit the notes. She needs to lose the silly background dancers. Ouch she's hitting bad notes, I think she's moving toward the suck category... Yup, no warmth in her thin now grating voice. She's in the suck category.
Ciara, Bow Wow and Mario - She had a thin song with a thin grating voice. I don't hear what all the fuss is about. She's another Maria wannabee - yuck. BowWow/Mario - 'snap' 'snap' heard it.
Tim McGraw - I'm sorry but this boy cannot sing. If you remove his nasal twang you'd hear a weak whiny voice. Must be the wife effect.
Eurythmics - Thanks to the sound engineer. Annie couldn't recover from a bad monitor until the end.
Macy Gray - "Dee Dee Dee"
Rascal Flats - Who? Chipmunk lead vocalist. At least they can harmonize, but in a twang! Yuk. "Brother and sister kinda thing" - Yup makes you think of Michael Jackson. Eeew!
Didn't Suck
AMA Video Director - The film effect on some of the performances was a great touch. For some of the performances it almost seemed as if you were watching a DVD. I say almost a DVD because of the sucky lack of surround or even something more than flat sound.
Rob Thomas - Going solo. Still sounds great. Nice understated arrangement and performance. He didn't pose, he just got the job done.
Keith Urban - At last a country singer who doesn't rely on a twang. I've never heard him before since most male country singers can't sing without a cowboy hat a twang or both - both of which do nothing for making the music pleasant. Which is why I avoid male country singers. I like the sound of some of the females, just not the twangy males.
Cyndy Lauper & Sarah McLachlan - Sarah was great as always. Cyndy was a little shaky on some solos. Together their vocals harmonize beautifully. The only down side was that the pedal/steel guitar was too loud, drowning out Sarah in parts.
Will Smith's Acceptance Speech - I love his rap. He's got great music. He's a real talent and his songs are just plain fun.
TMobile Caffeinated Cheerleader commercial - I was once like that - in the ice age.... Giddy, couldn't shut up. It's so amusing to watch.
Santana & Los Lonely Boys - These boys can sing. Harmonies - something you don't hear much of anymore except in Rock. Cool guitar solos by the lead guiatarist/vocalist of Los Lonely Boys. Santana - he's one of those legendary guitar players that just becomes more phenomenal as he gets older. He could walk on water with his playing. How they made their guitars sing such a sweet melody. This was the best performance of the night.
Sheryl Crow - She always delivers, too bad the ABC/AMA Sound Engineer didn't.
All American Rejects - They didn't suck, but they weren't anything special either.
Brooks & Dunn acceptance speech - A heartfelt thanks to all music fans, not just their own.
Rolling Stones - These guys have been performing a little longer than I have been alive. Tina Turner is coming out of 'retirement' to do another tour. I hope I'm kicking and moving like they are when I reach that point in my life.
Tina Turner - I know she wasn't on. But if you can get a chance to go see her, do! I wish they made more like her. She can do it all and sounds like heaven live.
Sucked
AMA Producer & the Sound Engineer
When will any music awards show get the sound right? If this thing was broadcast in Dolby surround you certainly didn't hear it. The music sounded as if it were coming out of a 1 foot wide flat speaker in the front - not even stereo in some cases. This is on my Yamaha/JBL surround sound system. I had to use the make believe surround Concert Hall setting to make it sound wider than 1 foot and three dimensional. Ugh, in 2005 this is the best they could do? If I were a performer, I would have wished I had never performed on this show.
Mariah Carey - A horrid performance of a horrible song. She blamed it on a lack of a monitor, nah, she was signing the song. It just sucks as a song. She needs to stop doing vocal gymnastics and relearn how to sing. Her style is so annoying these days. An x Octave range is not a weapon, it's an instrument for pleasure not pain. She's forgotten that.
Lindsey Lohan - I love her movies, but she doesn't belong on a music stage. She butchered Stevie Nick's "Edge of 17". She failed miserably at using the backup singers to mask her flat and unappealing voice. When she realized that, she started doing the rock star poser routine.
Kenny Chesney - Two things I can't stand -- Male twang and the 'yo yo yo bitch' rap. Guess which category he's in.
Paris Hilton - Why is she even there? I've seen better leaches for publicity.
Ferrell & Gwen Stefani - Like I said two things I can't stand. This was poser rap, no music, no talent. Gwen -- what a waste of theee minutes for her. She should have picked Andre 3000 instead to rap with - at least he has real music behind him and something more than the usual yo yo yo cliche rap.
Hillary Duff - Weak material. But at least she can hit the notes. She needs to lose the silly background dancers. Ouch she's hitting bad notes, I think she's moving toward the suck category... Yup, no warmth in her thin now grating voice. She's in the suck category.
Ciara, Bow Wow and Mario - She had a thin song with a thin grating voice. I don't hear what all the fuss is about. She's another Maria wannabee - yuck. BowWow/Mario - 'snap' 'snap' heard it.
Tim McGraw - I'm sorry but this boy cannot sing. If you remove his nasal twang you'd hear a weak whiny voice. Must be the wife effect.
Eurythmics - Thanks to the sound engineer. Annie couldn't recover from a bad monitor until the end.
Macy Gray - "Dee Dee Dee"
Rascal Flats - Who? Chipmunk lead vocalist. At least they can harmonize, but in a twang! Yuk. "Brother and sister kinda thing" - Yup makes you think of Michael Jackson. Eeew!
Didn't Suck
AMA Video Director - The film effect on some of the performances was a great touch. For some of the performances it almost seemed as if you were watching a DVD. I say almost a DVD because of the sucky lack of surround or even something more than flat sound.
Rob Thomas - Going solo. Still sounds great. Nice understated arrangement and performance. He didn't pose, he just got the job done.
Keith Urban - At last a country singer who doesn't rely on a twang. I've never heard him before since most male country singers can't sing without a cowboy hat a twang or both - both of which do nothing for making the music pleasant. Which is why I avoid male country singers. I like the sound of some of the females, just not the twangy males.
Cyndy Lauper & Sarah McLachlan - Sarah was great as always. Cyndy was a little shaky on some solos. Together their vocals harmonize beautifully. The only down side was that the pedal/steel guitar was too loud, drowning out Sarah in parts.
Will Smith's Acceptance Speech - I love his rap. He's got great music. He's a real talent and his songs are just plain fun.
TMobile Caffeinated Cheerleader commercial - I was once like that - in the ice age.... Giddy, couldn't shut up. It's so amusing to watch.
Santana & Los Lonely Boys - These boys can sing. Harmonies - something you don't hear much of anymore except in Rock. Cool guitar solos by the lead guiatarist/vocalist of Los Lonely Boys. Santana - he's one of those legendary guitar players that just becomes more phenomenal as he gets older. He could walk on water with his playing. How they made their guitars sing such a sweet melody. This was the best performance of the night.
Sheryl Crow - She always delivers, too bad the ABC/AMA Sound Engineer didn't.
All American Rejects - They didn't suck, but they weren't anything special either.
Brooks & Dunn acceptance speech - A heartfelt thanks to all music fans, not just their own.
Rolling Stones - These guys have been performing a little longer than I have been alive. Tina Turner is coming out of 'retirement' to do another tour. I hope I'm kicking and moving like they are when I reach that point in my life.
Tina Turner - I know she wasn't on. But if you can get a chance to go see her, do! I wish they made more like her. She can do it all and sounds like heaven live.
Friday, October 28, 2005
Household tip - Bulldog clips
Here's a tip that will make you say, of course.
Do you have many potato chip, cracker or even frozen food bags that you crumble-roll the ends to close them. Well if you use a 1 1/2" bulldog clip instead,
you won't have to do that anymore.
Rather than buy those oversized clips
at the grocery store. [You know the ones which have incredibly weak grasping power.] Use an office supply bulldog clip instead.
It won't let you down. It's smaller
and it's easier to store when not in use.
. Note: There are at least 4 large and a couple of smaller bulldog clips in that 3" x 3" storage cubby.
Do you have many potato chip, cracker or even frozen food bags that you crumble-roll the ends to close them. Well if you use a 1 1/2" bulldog clip instead,
you won't have to do that anymore.Rather than buy those oversized clips
at the grocery store. [You know the ones which have incredibly weak grasping power.] Use an office supply bulldog clip instead. It won't let you down. It's smaller
and it's easier to store when not in use.
. Note: There are at least 4 large and a couple of smaller bulldog clips in that 3" x 3" storage cubby.
Saturday, October 15, 2005
My garden plan 2006
I am working on redoing my overgrown huge planter. Here are my ideas for version 2.0.
Big planter - keep/add these plants:
Black mondo grass: add along parts of the front border.
Roses: Princess Diana, Playboy, Mister Lincoln, Simply Marvelous
Verbena: keep try to add more.
Platycodus: Try to expand, add plants from seed this early spring.
Dahlias - large: shift to where sterling silver was removed.
Calla rehmani: shift to selected places along front border where there is not a rose.
Weeping pussy willow: where pink rose was removed, back, southwest area.
Marigolds: Thin out, moving extra.
Annuals in front of planter: thin out moving extra to front of house.
East fence line area:
Daylilies: add a few more
Sunflowers: smaller inedible variety this year.
Clematis: Next to piers (inside fenceline).
Planters on top of piers: Ready made color.
Remove these plants:
Roses: Sterling silver - move to a corner somewhere.
Pink rose (??) - close to sterling silver - a garden for my daughter.
Marigolds: extra ones, plant in front of gladiolus by a/c unit.
Cannas: move to along back fenceline.
Gladiolus babies: Move to cover a/c unit - put back with other glads.
Dahlia - Bolognese: Move to southwest corner planter.
Oriental/Asian Lillies: Move to front of house or along side fenceline.
Front planter boxes:
Pansies: Add.
Implement watering system in the least visible way.
Ferns or burros ears: add new hanging plants.
Mailbox planter:
Gladiolus: Remove, move to ac unit.
Clematis: Try again.
First prep:
Pull out all big planter plants.
Add full yard or two of topsoil.
Replant.
Add mulch - 3-4 yards for entire yard.
.:end:.
Big planter - keep/add these plants:
Black mondo grass: add along parts of the front border.
Roses: Princess Diana, Playboy, Mister Lincoln, Simply Marvelous
Verbena: keep try to add more.
Platycodus: Try to expand, add plants from seed this early spring.
Dahlias - large: shift to where sterling silver was removed.
Calla rehmani: shift to selected places along front border where there is not a rose.
Weeping pussy willow: where pink rose was removed, back, southwest area.
Marigolds: Thin out, moving extra.
Annuals in front of planter: thin out moving extra to front of house.
East fence line area:
Daylilies: add a few more
Sunflowers: smaller inedible variety this year.
Clematis: Next to piers (inside fenceline).
Planters on top of piers: Ready made color.
Remove these plants:
Roses: Sterling silver - move to a corner somewhere.
Pink rose (??) - close to sterling silver - a garden for my daughter.
Marigolds: extra ones, plant in front of gladiolus by a/c unit.
Cannas: move to along back fenceline.
Gladiolus babies: Move to cover a/c unit - put back with other glads.
Dahlia - Bolognese: Move to southwest corner planter.
Oriental/Asian Lillies: Move to front of house or along side fenceline.
Front planter boxes:
Pansies: Add.
Implement watering system in the least visible way.
Ferns or burros ears: add new hanging plants.
Mailbox planter:
Gladiolus: Remove, move to ac unit.
Clematis: Try again.
First prep:
Pull out all big planter plants.
Add full yard or two of topsoil.
Replant.
Add mulch - 3-4 yards for entire yard.
.:end:.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Genetic roots
Our son has a strong background. Not only in terms of physical stength - but also in emotional strength. He gets a "determination" tripple whammy from his dad - who is highly motivated and determined, his Maga (his dad's mom) and his great grandpa (dad's side).
His Maga is an Okinawan World War II orphan. She managed to survive and for a short time even nurse her fatally wounded mother at 4 years old. At the same time she cared for her little brother (2-3 years old). His dad tells me stories of the stories Maga would tell Daddy about sleeping in trees to avoid the dogs. This was during and after the Battle of Okinawa. Maga is from a highly respected Okinawan family. Maga's mother and dad were teachers, which in Okinawan society is one of the most respected positions a person can hold. They were also very smart if not geniuses. Unfortunately genius doesn't count when you get hit by shrapnel or shot by soldiers as her mother and father were.
His great grandpa (Dad's grandpa) survived the Bataan Death March of World War II. Great grandpa survived by using his brains -- in this case it saved great grandpa. Great grandpa managed to escape and live. There are few of these soldiers still left in our area. Only one of them has ever talked about what happened during the march on television. Unfortunately great grandpa never told Daddy about what happened during the war. It's something that haunted great grandpa until he died in June 2000.
I can see their determination and strength in our son. He can set his mind to a task and complete it - he's been doing this for a couple of years now - he is five years old. He also is seemingly impervious to pain. That can be good and bad. He recently willed himself not to cry when getting vaccination shots for school. He said to his doctor, "I'm not going to cry". Sure enough he didn't. When he was a baby, he usually wouldn't cry when getting shots. When he was a few days old he had to have blood drawn from his heel for billiribum testing. His dad says he didn't even cry and almost didn't notice anything. His sister on the other hand did notice when she had the same test and she did cry. So our son has had this high tolerance for pain from birth.
He's actually lucky to be alive. I am positive his genetic roots have alot to do with that. When I was in labor, the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck. The fetal monitor was showing extreme distress. It took a few minutes to get him out. Lucky for us our great OB/GYN noticed this right away and pulled him out. When he came out he didn't make a sound, and was in bad shape. The nurses had to resuscitate him - he was almost a purple grey. I was only able to hold him for a few minutes but quickly gave him back so he could be taken to the first level ICU. I am thankful he was only kept overnight. The next morning he was pink as could be. I know that the lack of oxygen has caused some diminshment of his genius, but he's still a pretty smart kid. Plus babies are pretty resilient and almost plastic like when it comes to brain development. They can bounce back if cared for and if the damage isn't too bad.
Anyway, from the other side - mine - he gets mathematic ability. My dad was called a human calculator. Our son is able to do some addition already. His dad taught him to count to a hundred by the time he was 4. I can sense in our son the same ability as my dad. I'm planning on teaching him the binary number system soon as well, like my father taught me.
The only bad thing about genetic roots, is that not only is the good inherited, but also the bad. Like our predisposition to heart attacks & coronary disease - both sides. High blood pressure - also both sides. Diabetes, bad eyesight, and the real issue right now allergies and asthma. The allergies and asthma are from me. He seems to have it worse than I did when I was little. He's had pneumonia a few times already, as much as I have had in my entire life. We have to pay attention to his allergies to ensure they don't cascade to a runny nose, that turns into bronchitis that turns into pneumonia. Benadryl is our friend.
The connection between exzcema as a baby, and allergies/asthma is one that became known in the pop media within the last few years. When he was a toddler and seemingly getting ear infections quite a bit, a doctor at patient first recommended that whenever he got a runny nose to give him Benadryl. Sure enough since that time he has only had one ear infection. He has had pneumonia a few times usually from a cold or sudden onset of allergies I couldn't catch in time. What's odd is that I am going through the same thing now that I am past 40. I have to ensure my allergies don't cause bronchitis, because bacterial pneumonia is not too far behind.
So that is our son's genetic inheritance. You get the good with the bad.
.:end:.
His Maga is an Okinawan World War II orphan. She managed to survive and for a short time even nurse her fatally wounded mother at 4 years old. At the same time she cared for her little brother (2-3 years old). His dad tells me stories of the stories Maga would tell Daddy about sleeping in trees to avoid the dogs. This was during and after the Battle of Okinawa. Maga is from a highly respected Okinawan family. Maga's mother and dad were teachers, which in Okinawan society is one of the most respected positions a person can hold. They were also very smart if not geniuses. Unfortunately genius doesn't count when you get hit by shrapnel or shot by soldiers as her mother and father were.
His great grandpa (Dad's grandpa) survived the Bataan Death March of World War II. Great grandpa survived by using his brains -- in this case it saved great grandpa. Great grandpa managed to escape and live. There are few of these soldiers still left in our area. Only one of them has ever talked about what happened during the march on television. Unfortunately great grandpa never told Daddy about what happened during the war. It's something that haunted great grandpa until he died in June 2000.
I can see their determination and strength in our son. He can set his mind to a task and complete it - he's been doing this for a couple of years now - he is five years old. He also is seemingly impervious to pain. That can be good and bad. He recently willed himself not to cry when getting vaccination shots for school. He said to his doctor, "I'm not going to cry". Sure enough he didn't. When he was a baby, he usually wouldn't cry when getting shots. When he was a few days old he had to have blood drawn from his heel for billiribum testing. His dad says he didn't even cry and almost didn't notice anything. His sister on the other hand did notice when she had the same test and she did cry. So our son has had this high tolerance for pain from birth.
He's actually lucky to be alive. I am positive his genetic roots have alot to do with that. When I was in labor, the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck. The fetal monitor was showing extreme distress. It took a few minutes to get him out. Lucky for us our great OB/GYN noticed this right away and pulled him out. When he came out he didn't make a sound, and was in bad shape. The nurses had to resuscitate him - he was almost a purple grey. I was only able to hold him for a few minutes but quickly gave him back so he could be taken to the first level ICU. I am thankful he was only kept overnight. The next morning he was pink as could be. I know that the lack of oxygen has caused some diminshment of his genius, but he's still a pretty smart kid. Plus babies are pretty resilient and almost plastic like when it comes to brain development. They can bounce back if cared for and if the damage isn't too bad.
Anyway, from the other side - mine - he gets mathematic ability. My dad was called a human calculator. Our son is able to do some addition already. His dad taught him to count to a hundred by the time he was 4. I can sense in our son the same ability as my dad. I'm planning on teaching him the binary number system soon as well, like my father taught me.
The only bad thing about genetic roots, is that not only is the good inherited, but also the bad. Like our predisposition to heart attacks & coronary disease - both sides. High blood pressure - also both sides. Diabetes, bad eyesight, and the real issue right now allergies and asthma. The allergies and asthma are from me. He seems to have it worse than I did when I was little. He's had pneumonia a few times already, as much as I have had in my entire life. We have to pay attention to his allergies to ensure they don't cascade to a runny nose, that turns into bronchitis that turns into pneumonia. Benadryl is our friend.
The connection between exzcema as a baby, and allergies/asthma is one that became known in the pop media within the last few years. When he was a toddler and seemingly getting ear infections quite a bit, a doctor at patient first recommended that whenever he got a runny nose to give him Benadryl. Sure enough since that time he has only had one ear infection. He has had pneumonia a few times usually from a cold or sudden onset of allergies I couldn't catch in time. What's odd is that I am going through the same thing now that I am past 40. I have to ensure my allergies don't cause bronchitis, because bacterial pneumonia is not too far behind.
So that is our son's genetic inheritance. You get the good with the bad.
.:end:.
Rewards Galore
Our son started kindergarten this year. It's funny because they use a reward system similar to what we use (see previous post). In his school, kindergarten has a 10 sticker system. When they earn 10 stickers they can pick whatever they want out of the Treasure Basket. They also earn green, yellow or red faces each day. A green face is good. A yellow face is given if the student is told twice about breaking a lesser rule. A red face is given out when a big rule or 3 warnings about a lesser rule are given out. Lesser rules are talking out of turn, not following directions and the like. Big rules involve hurtful physical contact with another student using their body or items. Yellow and red faces also mean a note is sent home to parents, which a parent then has to sign and return.
Anyway, we have piggybacked onto the green happy face system. For every green happy face, he earns $1. A week of all green happy faces earns him a star (value $4). He is paid his green happy face earnings (allowance) on Saturday mornings. He tends to save $1 each week, and given that's 20% that's pretty good. In actuality he has saved more than that as he has earned $12 so far an only spent $5.
He has earned 2 yellows and one red so far. One of the yellow and the red were earned when he went back to school after being out for 3 days sick. He was too excited to listen to the teacher and stop chatting with his friends. We helped him by teaching him to look at the teacher when she is talking. He listens only when he is looking at you, so we taught him to always look at us when we're talking to him. We're still working on that.
Tonight he earned another star. This time for politeness. He said, "excuse me" to his dad when daddy blocked his view of Teen Titans. His tone was polite and he waited patiently until his daddy realized he was blocking our son's view. Daddy of course smiled. Our son thought he was in trouble, but we explained that he had politely indicated to Daddy about his blocked view.
..:sidetrack:..
When I was in school, I paved the way for my sister. I don't ever recall being sent to the principal's office, being in detention, or even getting into a fight. Probably because I'm a big chicken. Anyway, I was one of those students who could occasionally be called teachers pet. Not because I buttered them up, but because I was polite and didn't chat in class. I'm hoping my son is the same.
..:back to our subject:..
He is shaping up to be a good student. We just need to keep motivating him to want to be that way. I frequently tell him he is a "good boy" and say "remember you are a good boy". When he was a toddler I would say to him "You must use your powers for good not evil". I know brainwashing, but I think it's working. He does have a good heart and a caring almost empathetic personality. His dad reinforces the "stand up for your self" part when needed (see post Genetic Roots). He has occasionally had to stand up for himself, but because he is one of those kids that gets along with everyone, he doesn't usually get in trouble. I of course remind him that he should use verbal warnings as much as possible when some other child is troubling him.
One of the techniques we taught him was how to deal with someone who is bothering you. We told him to loudly say, "Stop that, I don't like that". It's a way to tell the offending child to stop and also draw attention to the conflict without tattling. It also puts the other child on notice that they are being warned that continued harrassment will be dealt with. So far he has only had to go that route a few times in the past year. His verbal warnings are now rare for him to give out.
At his preschool/daycare last year he had to daily deal with a child who would try to tackle him the minute he walked in the door. My son at first tried to fight back, but after a while of initially getting into trouble and our explaining how to use verbal warnings, he learned to simply ignore that child. True that child has issues so he hasn't stopped the tackle attempts, but our son has learned patience and the ability to ignore slights or little annoyances.
Our son is learning how to deal with difficult people (troubled children) at a young age. This should help him deal with the difficult people (overgrown children = aka adults) later in life. He is also very adept at getting along with many people, which will help him socially later as well. I know the better you are at getting along with people the more successful you tend to be.
.: end :.
Anyway, we have piggybacked onto the green happy face system. For every green happy face, he earns $1. A week of all green happy faces earns him a star (value $4). He is paid his green happy face earnings (allowance) on Saturday mornings. He tends to save $1 each week, and given that's 20% that's pretty good. In actuality he has saved more than that as he has earned $12 so far an only spent $5.
He has earned 2 yellows and one red so far. One of the yellow and the red were earned when he went back to school after being out for 3 days sick. He was too excited to listen to the teacher and stop chatting with his friends. We helped him by teaching him to look at the teacher when she is talking. He listens only when he is looking at you, so we taught him to always look at us when we're talking to him. We're still working on that.
Tonight he earned another star. This time for politeness. He said, "excuse me" to his dad when daddy blocked his view of Teen Titans. His tone was polite and he waited patiently until his daddy realized he was blocking our son's view. Daddy of course smiled. Our son thought he was in trouble, but we explained that he had politely indicated to Daddy about his blocked view.
..:sidetrack:..
When I was in school, I paved the way for my sister. I don't ever recall being sent to the principal's office, being in detention, or even getting into a fight. Probably because I'm a big chicken. Anyway, I was one of those students who could occasionally be called teachers pet. Not because I buttered them up, but because I was polite and didn't chat in class. I'm hoping my son is the same.
..:back to our subject:..
He is shaping up to be a good student. We just need to keep motivating him to want to be that way. I frequently tell him he is a "good boy" and say "remember you are a good boy". When he was a toddler I would say to him "You must use your powers for good not evil". I know brainwashing, but I think it's working. He does have a good heart and a caring almost empathetic personality. His dad reinforces the "stand up for your self" part when needed (see post Genetic Roots). He has occasionally had to stand up for himself, but because he is one of those kids that gets along with everyone, he doesn't usually get in trouble. I of course remind him that he should use verbal warnings as much as possible when some other child is troubling him.
One of the techniques we taught him was how to deal with someone who is bothering you. We told him to loudly say, "Stop that, I don't like that". It's a way to tell the offending child to stop and also draw attention to the conflict without tattling. It also puts the other child on notice that they are being warned that continued harrassment will be dealt with. So far he has only had to go that route a few times in the past year. His verbal warnings are now rare for him to give out.
At his preschool/daycare last year he had to daily deal with a child who would try to tackle him the minute he walked in the door. My son at first tried to fight back, but after a while of initially getting into trouble and our explaining how to use verbal warnings, he learned to simply ignore that child. True that child has issues so he hasn't stopped the tackle attempts, but our son has learned patience and the ability to ignore slights or little annoyances.
Our son is learning how to deal with difficult people (troubled children) at a young age. This should help him deal with the difficult people (overgrown children = aka adults) later in life. He is also very adept at getting along with many people, which will help him socially later as well. I know the better you are at getting along with people the more successful you tend to be.
.: end :.
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Pops poem
I found this today. It's a poem my dad used to tell his cousins and nieces & nephews when they were younger:
I remember my son, trying to see what was behind him. In hindsight, he was trying to see what was holding him up. God maybe, or perhaps just the desire to see my son. These series of pictures captured what he was trying to figure out about his grandpa.
Later after he passed but before we knew, I remember going into my son's room. He was in his crib sleeping very peacefully. I remember seeing shimmering twinkling lights around him. This 'cloud' of shimmer almost looked like someone was curled around him. I double-checked and rubbed my eyes a few times. I figured it was tiredness or high sugar.
My son talks about his grandpas and describes things they did, even though he never met some of them. He talks about the dog one grandpa had, who lived until he was almost 7 months old. So I guess that is a baby memory. He also talks about his other grandpas who passed long before he was born. It's uncanny when he tells us things. We try not to steer him with our questions about what he saw or dreamed about. He has one grandpa left, not by blood but by heart.
When my grandfather passed away (my dad's side), I remember seeing him looking in on us from the garage window. My dad ran into the garage trying to find him, even though he knew he was gone. I remember feeling his presence, not just seeing him. I can still remember his cologne and how his voice would call to me in a sing song husky voice.
Some of you think this is rubbish, and that's ok. For those who have experienced otherwise, you're not alone. We carry our family inside us and we hope after we're gone someone will care about us and carry our memories inside them. I believe that is why my son talks to his grandpas, why his dad does too, and why my sister feels pops presence when she sits in his chair.
Time is not an absolute, and it's not linear. It bends and folds into origami shapes that many of us have no concept of. I believe that souls find a way into those folds and brush against our time when we remember them. So if you have a long past family member, try talking about them to your children - even those who passed long before they were born, you might hear some interesting dreams and stories.
.:end:.
Bright and early in the morningPop's been gone for almost 5 years now and we still miss him and always will. I printed out one of the last pictures of my dad and my son - taken a couple of weeks before he died.
In the middle of the night
Two dead men got up to fight
Back to back they faced each other
Drew their swords and shot each other
A deaf policeman heard the noise
And came and shot the two dead boys.
I remember my son, trying to see what was behind him. In hindsight, he was trying to see what was holding him up. God maybe, or perhaps just the desire to see my son. These series of pictures captured what he was trying to figure out about his grandpa.
Later after he passed but before we knew, I remember going into my son's room. He was in his crib sleeping very peacefully. I remember seeing shimmering twinkling lights around him. This 'cloud' of shimmer almost looked like someone was curled around him. I double-checked and rubbed my eyes a few times. I figured it was tiredness or high sugar.
My son talks about his grandpas and describes things they did, even though he never met some of them. He talks about the dog one grandpa had, who lived until he was almost 7 months old. So I guess that is a baby memory. He also talks about his other grandpas who passed long before he was born. It's uncanny when he tells us things. We try not to steer him with our questions about what he saw or dreamed about. He has one grandpa left, not by blood but by heart.
When my grandfather passed away (my dad's side), I remember seeing him looking in on us from the garage window. My dad ran into the garage trying to find him, even though he knew he was gone. I remember feeling his presence, not just seeing him. I can still remember his cologne and how his voice would call to me in a sing song husky voice.
Some of you think this is rubbish, and that's ok. For those who have experienced otherwise, you're not alone. We carry our family inside us and we hope after we're gone someone will care about us and carry our memories inside them. I believe that is why my son talks to his grandpas, why his dad does too, and why my sister feels pops presence when she sits in his chair.
Time is not an absolute, and it's not linear. It bends and folds into origami shapes that many of us have no concept of. I believe that souls find a way into those folds and brush against our time when we remember them. So if you have a long past family member, try talking about them to your children - even those who passed long before they were born, you might hear some interesting dreams and stories.
.:end:.
Friday, July 08, 2005
Are behaviors inherited?
I am wondering this because my baby girl is making the same scooby doo-like "hmmph" sounds as her cousin. These are not the same sounds that her older brother made as a baby. Likewise my son exhibits other behaviors that mimic his older cousin. I assumed that my son and his older cousin had learned these behaviors from each other. These two cousins are brothers.
What's even more interesting is that my baby girl could pass for her baby cousin's sister. My son could pass for their older cousin's brother. Temperment wise, my baby girl is more like her baby cousin. My son is more like his older cousin.
But the behaviors don't stop at cousins. My daughter has a characteristic high pitched squeel that apparently I so gleefully tortured my mother with when I was a baby. Well they say, "what goes around comes around", or as we like to call this 'The Payback Child'. My son has a habit of wanting to run into the street, just like his dad did. So far we have drilled into him the consequences of getting hit by a car. I just hope those lessons stick.
Anyway, I used to think I had the my sister's payback child. However, as I talk to my mom she tells me that I did the same things. So much for thinking I was an absolute angel and my sister was the demon child who tortured my mom [insert evil witch laugh here]. Apparently my mom had forgotten how I would 'drive her crazy' once my sister came along. My sister's behaviors sure seem less aggravating then the mini-me I share our home with... ;p
Don't get me wrong, I love my baby girl. She's pretty fun and somewhat more advanced than what I recall her brother to be at this age. Of course that will change once the teenage years strike. So for right now I am learning how to laugh at the behaviors of my daughter and wonder how my mom went ahead and had two more!
:)
.:end:.
What's even more interesting is that my baby girl could pass for her baby cousin's sister. My son could pass for their older cousin's brother. Temperment wise, my baby girl is more like her baby cousin. My son is more like his older cousin.
But the behaviors don't stop at cousins. My daughter has a characteristic high pitched squeel that apparently I so gleefully tortured my mother with when I was a baby. Well they say, "what goes around comes around", or as we like to call this 'The Payback Child'. My son has a habit of wanting to run into the street, just like his dad did. So far we have drilled into him the consequences of getting hit by a car. I just hope those lessons stick.
Anyway, I used to think I had the my sister's payback child. However, as I talk to my mom she tells me that I did the same things. So much for thinking I was an absolute angel and my sister was the demon child who tortured my mom [insert evil witch laugh here]
Don't get me wrong, I love my baby girl. She's pretty fun and somewhat more advanced than what I recall her brother to be at this age. Of course that will change once the teenage years strike. So for right now I am learning how to laugh at the behaviors of my daughter and wonder how my mom went ahead and had two more!
:)
.:end:.
Friday, June 10, 2005
Too smart for punishment...
Here's something that is interesting about our son. He doesn't respond well to 'losing' or punishment as well as he does to the 'star system'. I used to think of these as bribes, but now that we use it with our son, we're learning it really is early work experience for him.
Here's what we do.
I have a set of colorful nameplates I bought at the Teacher & Parents store (TAPS). I also bought the perennial favorite of teachers, a packet of gold stars. Above the name line I write the numbers 1-10 spaced out to fit a star. A full 'board' earns my son a trip to the store to spend $40 for anything he wants.
He has 'cashed in' one board so far and is only one star short of a second board. We have been doing this for about 3 months and the funny thing is he listens better and does what we want him to do - sometimes without even telling him!
How he has 'earned' stars:
* Help mommy with the baby - not for a minute but for a period of time past his short attention span.
* A big clean up. Not the daily 'nice-neat-and organized' routine but the one where we decide which toys go back upstairs and which stay downstairs.
* Waking up and getting ready for school or bed without being told. That means changing his clothes and brushing his teeth and cleaning up in the evening.
* Having a good attitude consistently for 3 days or more (no complaints).
* Helping mommy with the garden - if you've seen the pictures you'll understand why!
He has also earned one time stars. In other words he received the star for the first time he did something we wanted him to, but not after that - it was expected.
I remember now why I came up with this. I went to his preschool parent teacher conference . His report was great - nothing he needed to improve. So I asked for ideas about what we could improve in how we handle him so he would listen better to us. His teacher gave me examples of how she handles the children and I noticed, every example highlighted positive behaviors. Until then we had gotten into the habit of being short with him. That approach let's off steam but doesn't fix the underlying problem. I went home and started feeding the baby reading one of my parent or womens magazines, when something in an article mentioned giving a sticker as a reward. I knew then what I would do. The next day we went to TAPS. I spent a good twenty minutes looking for a letter sized board to display his stickers -- then I found the pack of 100 nameplates (3" x 11") and gold stars next to them. Voila! This would be our reward system.
I should have figured this out before! About a year ago I finally discovered the secret to getting him potty trained. In that case it was a bribe. We had been telling him he would get a game when he went started to use the potty. We didn't realize that he didn't understand that concept - it was too abstract. So one weekend I went ahead and bought a gameboy game and put it up on the laundry room shelf. Then sometime that week, he was sitting on the potty, refusing to go. In my frustration I grabbed the game and said "See this is what you'll get if you just go in the potty and stop wearing diapers!!" BINGO! His eyes lit up and his whole attitude changed. The next day he was potty trained!
Our son is very bright. As we have learned punishments don't work with him; instead rewards and empathy do. We use empathy - put him in the other person's shoes - when he has hurt someone or could have. He has to understand why his behavior is incorrect. Once he understands, he chooses not to engage in that behavior.
Our friends and coworkers remark how lucky our son is to grow up with 'two smart parents'. But I know there are far smarter parents than us in other areas. The problem for us is that we don't understand what our children don't comprehend. My handicap when I help people with computer issues is that things that are intuitive to me are not even in the realm of reality for the casual computer user. I am learning the same thing is true about children. We forget that at one time we simply didn't know there was 'such a thing as' [fill in the blank].
.:end:.
Here's what we do.
I have a set of colorful nameplates I bought at the Teacher & Parents store (TAPS). I also bought the perennial favorite of teachers, a packet of gold stars. Above the name line I write the numbers 1-10 spaced out to fit a star. A full 'board' earns my son a trip to the store to spend $40 for anything he wants.
He has 'cashed in' one board so far and is only one star short of a second board. We have been doing this for about 3 months and the funny thing is he listens better and does what we want him to do - sometimes without even telling him!
How he has 'earned' stars:
* Help mommy with the baby - not for a minute but for a period of time past his short attention span.
* A big clean up. Not the daily 'nice-neat-and organized' routine but the one where we decide which toys go back upstairs and which stay downstairs.
* Waking up and getting ready for school or bed without being told. That means changing his clothes and brushing his teeth and cleaning up in the evening.
* Having a good attitude consistently for 3 days or more (no complaints).
* Helping mommy with the garden - if you've seen the pictures you'll understand why!
He has also earned one time stars. In other words he received the star for the first time he did something we wanted him to, but not after that - it was expected.
I remember now why I came up with this. I went to his preschool parent teacher conference . His report was great - nothing he needed to improve. So I asked for ideas about what we could improve in how we handle him so he would listen better to us. His teacher gave me examples of how she handles the children and I noticed, every example highlighted positive behaviors. Until then we had gotten into the habit of being short with him. That approach let's off steam but doesn't fix the underlying problem. I went home and started feeding the baby reading one of my parent or womens magazines, when something in an article mentioned giving a sticker as a reward. I knew then what I would do. The next day we went to TAPS. I spent a good twenty minutes looking for a letter sized board to display his stickers -- then I found the pack of 100 nameplates (3" x 11") and gold stars next to them. Voila! This would be our reward system.
I should have figured this out before! About a year ago I finally discovered the secret to getting him potty trained. In that case it was a bribe. We had been telling him he would get a game when he went started to use the potty. We didn't realize that he didn't understand that concept - it was too abstract. So one weekend I went ahead and bought a gameboy game and put it up on the laundry room shelf. Then sometime that week, he was sitting on the potty, refusing to go. In my frustration I grabbed the game and said "See this is what you'll get if you just go in the potty and stop wearing diapers!!" BINGO! His eyes lit up and his whole attitude changed. The next day he was potty trained!
Our son is very bright. As we have learned punishments don't work with him; instead rewards and empathy do. We use empathy - put him in the other person's shoes - when he has hurt someone or could have. He has to understand why his behavior is incorrect. Once he understands, he chooses not to engage in that behavior.
Our friends and coworkers remark how lucky our son is to grow up with 'two smart parents'. But I know there are far smarter parents than us in other areas. The problem for us is that we don't understand what our children don't comprehend. My handicap when I help people with computer issues is that things that are intuitive to me are not even in the realm of reality for the casual computer user. I am learning the same thing is true about children. We forget that at one time we simply didn't know there was 'such a thing as
.:end:.
Thursday, June 09, 2005
Maybe Tipper was on to something
I had an interesting discussion with my dentist today about the iPod I was listening to. It seems his daughter now wants one and is begging her dad for one. Unfortunately, after talking to me he has made up his mind not to get her one, and I understand why. Here's the feedback I submitted to Apple regarding iPod.
Our mission: Well we've brainwashed our son into being a very happy kid who has manners, is kind-hearted and cuddly.
How? Simple.
I know I am dragging on, but our son continues to draw pictures of his "family at home" all smiling. Pictures say a thousand words. His drawings tell us we are doing the right thing.
.:end:.
I just finished showing my dentist the iPod I had since his daughter wants one. Unfortunately he has now decided against getting her one for a simple reason, he can't control what she will load onto it and has no way of monitoring it. It's not just the explicit songs he's worried about as much as he is about what he considers inappropriate themes and attitudes prevalent in the music his nieces and nephews listen to. As the mother of a bright and cheerful 5 year old son, who has just discovered music CDs, I can understand his concern. I also try to keep certain music and television shows out of his 'reach' because I believe those attitudes and themes to be an obstacle to success and happiness. It would be nice as a parent to setup an iTunes account and iPod for my children that would be prevented from buying, ripping or uploading not just explicit material but also thematic material that I don't want them to have on their iPods. A rating system similar to that found on TV - with DLSV and additional categories - for criminal activity, sexist attitudes, loser attitudes, blaming attitudes, and the like would be helpful. I know that even with ratings enforcement on iPod/iTunes this won't prevent them from being exposed to the songs and programs that I oppose from other sources. However, at least I will be assured none of that ends up on the iPods I buy for them.I recently played with setting ratings on the TV we bought to replace another one that my son uses. I liked the fact that I could refine the blocks on TV-xy to separate Dialogue, Sexual, Language, and Violence but even those I found too broad for my mission.
Our mission: Well we've brainwashed our son into being a very happy kid who has manners, is kind-hearted and cuddly.
How? Simple.
- As a baby, we constantly smiled at him and we played with him. We also spoiled him by letting him sleep in our bed (he still won't leave after 5 years) hugging him and telling him often that we love him.
- As a toddler, we let him watch TV, but only the shows with happy smiling characters like Elmo, Barney, Roly Poly Oly and Baby Einstein.
- He plays happy video games, he has since he was 18 months old. I know many who will disapprove, but far from being a sullen and solitary child with a limited attention span and vocabulary, he is quite the opposite.
- We have also always quickly switched the channel or station when a show or song came on that had the following themes: sexist, loser attitudes, blame everyone, manipulative, lying, cheating, stealing and of course drugs.
I know I am dragging on, but our son continues to draw pictures of his "family at home" all smiling. Pictures say a thousand words. His drawings tell us we are doing the right thing.
.:end:.
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Funwebproducts JUNK
I am an admin of a Domino site. Today one of our users was having trouble uploading to our site. Since the other users were not, I delved into the logs and this is what I found as their user agent,
Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 5.5; Windows NT 4.0; FunWebProducts)
A quick google and the first real article (not from the company) is from Network World from 2003 that basically says this thing is giving webmasters fits. A few more googles, some webmasters have created special 'go away' pages just for those so infected. More googling and I find a recent post, same problem for webmasters.
Now I only play a webmaster, being one of those jack of all trades types, masters of none. So I'll have to create some special code (a weak area mind you) to sniff this out of their agent string just so I can post a web page like this one:
http://www.beefstew.net/FunWebProducts.html
Which I saw somewhere else as well. Seems like a standard design, I may use it as well.
This user appears to have been using a computer that is not necessarily shared as I later found out after talking to him. He seemed to be in quite a hurry once I mentioned the 'products' associated with this beast, and reading some quick lines from the Network World article to him. I'm seriously thinking of opening a trouble call for his machine to have it cleaned, since another google post suggested that this stuff can read what would ordinarily be secure pages - which our site is comprised of. I think I'll run this by our internal lan support guys first and see what they want to do. After all I would be telling on one of our customer's users....
Hey, I'm getting over a cold, and I'm a wimp with these things. Not very nice today... :(
.:end:.
Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 5.5; Windows NT 4.0; FunWebProducts)
A quick google and the first real article (not from the company) is from Network World from 2003 that basically says this thing is giving webmasters fits. A few more googles, some webmasters have created special 'go away' pages just for those so infected. More googling and I find a recent post, same problem for webmasters.
Now I only play a webmaster, being one of those jack of all trades types, masters of none. So I'll have to create some special code (a weak area mind you) to sniff this out of their agent string just so I can post a web page like this one:
http://www.beefstew.net/FunWebProducts.html
Which I saw somewhere else as well. Seems like a standard design, I may use it as well.
This user appears to have been using a computer that is not necessarily shared as I later found out after talking to him. He seemed to be in quite a hurry once I mentioned the 'products' associated with this beast, and reading some quick lines from the Network World article to him. I'm seriously thinking of opening a trouble call for his machine to have it cleaned, since another google post suggested that this stuff can read what would ordinarily be secure pages - which our site is comprised of. I think I'll run this by our internal lan support guys first and see what they want to do. After all I would be telling on one of our customer's users....
Hey, I'm getting over a cold, and I'm a wimp with these things. Not very nice today... :(
.:end:.
